Should We Embrace or Reject the Culture of Restaurant Gossip
By Jennifer photography imaging
My industry friend and I were recently having a chat while pouring some chablis and cooking a seafood feast in her kitchen about how easy it is to become sucked into the work gossip.
Way back in my younger days, I used to love hearing all the “tea” going on in the restaurant, and I must admit I’m still an open ear for some of it.
But as I've spent more time in the industry, I’ve learned how exhausting it can be to hang out with colleagues who only want to bitch and complain about recent work events, leaving me feeling trapped in surface-level nonsense.
As we continued our conversation, we both mentioned how important it is not always to respond and to keep our mouths shut before we get sucked into the vortex of gossip.
Gossip culture
Gossiping has been around for centuries; in fact, it dates back to early humans living in small tribes, who used it to communicate because knowing who to trust was imperative to their survival.
As human language evolved, gossiping about others became more sophisticated. Instead of only sharing survival information, humans began sharing more social, juicy topics such as who’s dating whom, break-ups or conflicts.
In the restaurant industry, gossiping about a situation or somebody is quite common, although frowned upon by management; the silent whispers make their way from coworker to coworker, leaving some feeling appalled by the behaviour, while others use it for laughter and social connection.
The reality is that humans are curious about other people's lives and find it stimulating and entertaining to talk about them; in an environment like a restaurant, it becomes a battleground over who, what, and where!
Some of the conversations can be positive, while others can be negative. The fact is, everyone seems to have an opinion.
How it affects stress
Although I enjoy a little “tea” from time to time, I’ve learned how unhealthy it can become when you’re constantly engaged in workplace gossip.
In fact, it can almost become addictive, leading you to want more to fulfill the dopamine hit, and before long you may be seeking out the latest drama.
We all know who to ask—those same few employees who are spreading all the gossip.
How do we know this?
Because they're often the first ones to spread the information, and although they may not be coming from a place of malice, problems can arise when information becomes a form of social currency.
Over time, gossip can create divisions among team members, lower morale, and contribute to a toxic workplace culture.
However, if taken lightly and not too seriously, it can have some positive effects.
Temporarily reduce stress
Venting frustrations to coworkers can provide emotional relief.
Sharing concerns about a situation can make people feel less isolated.
Positive gossip (talking about someone's achievements or good qualities) can strengthen social bonds.
May increase stress
Employees may worry about being the subject of gossip, which can increase anxiety and make them hypervigilant.
Toxic workplace gossip can damage trust and psychological safety, altering how other employees perceive one another.
Constant exposure to drama and conflict can contribute to chronic stress and burnout.
Gossiping can be contagious— like recently, I was standing in the staff room listening to my coworker complain about their schedule, which led to a discussion of other employees' schedules and eventually made me question my own.
I had to take a step back and gently remove myself from the conversation, as my colleague continued to ramble on.
Although he was only looking to be understood, I had to remind myself that his work experience isn’t mine to take on.
So the next time you become part of the gossip, ask yourself if partaking is beneficial and only for fun, or if it's going to cost you unnecessary mental anguish or drama.
