Should You Date Your Co-Worker? (Don’t Sh*t Where You Eat)
By wundvisuals
In the hospitality industry, there is a phrase you may hear often: “Don’t shit where you eat.” When it comes to romantic relationships.
Of course, that is not always the case; some of the best connections happen in the workplace and can be long-lasting. For example, some of the co-workers I’ve worked with are now married, have children, and have quite successful relationships.
But I’ve also experienced the negative aspects of a work relationship.
A decade ago, I dated a co-worker off and on for two years. Still, the relationship ended in a breakup that caused me significant stress and affected my work performance because I couldn’t manage my emotions while working with him.
As a result, I’ve been very cautious about my attraction to other employees, which has happened a few times over the years, but instead of taking action on my feelings, I take in data.
Especially recently, when I’ve become quite fond of one of my co-workers, and have been dealing with my attraction to him for the past 6 months. It wasn’t always like this between us, but something shifted a while back, and as I spent more time with him outside of the work dynamic, I got to experience a more authentic side of him.
Still, the past feels familiar in this connection, and our lifestyle and outlook on life aren’t quite compatible at this time. As I take in data, I have to ask myself the challenging question, should I take a risk and shit where I eat?
Don’t Shit Where You Eat
The phrase itself says it all, especially if you are well established in the restaurant you’re working in. It’s intended to protect your environment, income, and most importantly, your well-being.
It doesn’t mean you have to cut yourself off from a connection. But it can help you weigh the pros and cons when deciding whether to “hook up” or begin a relationship in the workplace, is in your best interest.
Furthermore, what feels like a strong connection could sometimes be situational intensity and chemistry, rather than long-term compatibility.
Still collecting the data from the experience, and knowing what kind of connection you want will determine if it’s worth the risk when dating someone in the work environment.
For instance, if it’s something you’re considering, clear communication and emotional maturity can help navigate the connection and build a proper foundation with respect.
But if the foundation isn’t built, dealing with a breakup in the same work environment can be quite stressful and awkward for both of you and other employees if it's not handled properly.
Weighing The Pros and Cons
Falling for someone in the work environment can be a wonderful experience, and it’s quite common.
In fact, according to Forbes, a recent statistic shows that over 60% of adults have dated in the workplace.
One of the driving factors is comfort, and the inability to meet people outside of the work environment.
Furthermore, working in the restaurant industry often leads to developing feelings for co-workers, especially due to the frequent flirting.
Therefore, ask yourself these questions when weighing out the pros and cons:
Is this a healthy connection?
Would this person be someone you would recommend a friend to date?
Are you falling in love with this person as a whole? Or only their good side and potential?
If it doesn’t work out, can you still work together?
How does this person complement your life?
Do you share common values, lifestyle choices, and ambition?
Are you only looking for a dopamine hit while working?
In the hospitality industry, where stress, long shifts, and late nights already tax your nervous system, the people closest to you either add to your recovery or drain it; therefore, it’s imperative to choose healthy connections worth investing in.
. . .
In my experience, I’ve learned to let the attraction pass for my best interests, and when I look back on the potential men, I’m happy that I didn’t act on my feelings.
Mostly due to my past romantic work experience, but honestly, all of these men had one thing in common: substance misuse.
I’ve had my own substance problems in the past, and I’ve had to work hard to break the habit, which is why I went back to school to educate myself and take health courses to become a nutritionist.
I made a decision that I want to respect and honour myself, my true essence of who I’ve become, and I won’t choose any partner that will disrupt my peace, especially anyone in the work environment.
So for now, I stand by the phrase.
Don’t shit where you eat!
Not from fear, but from clarity.
Have you ever had to navigate a work romance? Let me know how it worked out for you.
