How to Stop Reacting and Start Regulating Your Nervous System

By Corelens

If you have spent years in the industry, you may already know the pattern from the front of the house to the back.

When the restaurant starts to become busy during service, tension between colleagues can rise.

It can be quite common, like a few years ago when a chef scolded me for ringing in the wrong steak for a set party menu —Why the fuck are you ringing the fillet mignon, and not the New York striploin?

Rather than responding, I stood shocked and frozen, feeling like I was on an episode of The Bear, starring Jeremy Allen White and Jamie Lee Curtis.

Eventually I replied that another server was actually ringing in the party.

Unfortunately, that wasn't an isolated incident. I spent years in restaurant environments where conflict was totally acceptable and reached an unhealthy level.

A decade ago, I didn’t know how to respond professionally when a serious issue escalated with a manager, leading to a serious emotional outburst.

It wasn’t entirely my fault.

I never walked into the shift looking to fight with others. But the reality was that I was unregulated and attracting other employees with unregulated nervous systems.

Put enough of us in a high-stress environment, and it was only a matter of time before things exploded like an atomic bomb.

As a result, I decided to take myself into therapy and began the journey of rewiring my dysregulated nervous system.

Still, change takes time, and when other employees are unwilling to self-reflect and take responsibility, it can be hard not to snap back.

The best course of action is to learn to pause and stay calm.

While conflict is inevitable, your response determines how it unfolds.

Nervous system basics

A regulated nervous system is your body's ability to switch from a fight-or-flight response to rest-and-digest without much disruption in response to your environment.

Think of your nervous system like the control panel running quietly in the background of everything you do, such as your mood, sleep, digestion, and how your body handles stress.

You don't see it working, but it's steering the whole ship.

There are two primary branches:

Sympathetic Nervous System: Also known as the fight-or-flight response, this branch prepares your body for stress. Think of it as your internal gas pedal, speeding things up so you can react quickly to challenges.

Parasympathetic Nervous System: Known as the rest-and-digest mode, this branch helps your body slow down, recover, and return to balance. It’s your built-in brake pedal, supporting calm, clarity, and stability.

When the sympathetic system becomes overactive, stress hormones surge, often resulting in anxiety, irritability, and a constant sense of being on edge.

Conversely, when the parasympathetic system dominates too strongly, the body can slip into a state of shutdown, leaving you feeling drained, unmotivated, or emotionally flat.

When these two systems are working in sync, your body operates from a place of balance and resilience.

You’re able to handle stress when it arises, then naturally return to a state of calm once the moment has passed. Your energy feels steady, your mood is more stable, and your digestion, sleep, and focus all function more smoothly.

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When industry professionals take time to nourish and calm their nervous systems, it creates a better work environment for everyone.

In my latest free downloadable PDF, I offer practical tips for a healthy, flexible nervous system that shifts from survival mode to safety with ease.

Check out the store for more downloadable PDFs.

Nervous System Regulation Guide

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